Burned Out Stay At Home Mom: Causes And Symptoms
Last Updated on May 7, 2024 by Kathy
Mom burnout is often caused by chronic stress and exhaustion from caring for children. But have you heard about burned-out stay-at-home mom? Just staying at home with your kids and even with working from home, can cause you stress. Others report more mom burnout after 18 months of turmoil caused by the pandemic, which has changed parents’ expectations and placed more mental pressure on mothers.
What Is Mom Burned Out Stay At Home?
Mothers who feel overwhelmed by mother burnout report feeling disengagement, exhaustion, or depersonalization. This can include feeling “going through the motions” rather than being present and engaged in their children’s lives. Many parents feel inefficient and useless in their child-rearing role, often doubting their ability to do it well.
Parental burnout is a multidimensional condition of emotional, physical, and psychological exhaustion . It places parents (but also many other families, especially mothers) at increased risk for mental health problems and increases work/family conflicts. This can lead to decreased well-being across many aspects of one’s lives.
Gender roles place greater caregiving requirements on mothers, regardless of whether she works outside the home. This imbalance gives moms the perfect opportunity to become extremely stressed and eventually burnout. It is time to implement systemic reforms such as paid time off to care for children and better parental leave policies.
What Are The Signs Of Mom Burned Out Stay At Home
Mothers who work outside the home or stay-at the house may experience mommy burnout. This can be either a sign of mommy depression. These are some possible signs of mom burnout.
- Extreme mental fatigue and physical exhaustion
- Being “short-tempered”
- Emotionally depleted
- Feeling isolated or disconnected from others, even your children
- Feeling guilty over your behaviors, reactions, thoughts, or feelings
- Parental guilt, or like an inept parent
- Anxiety or a focus on the next step can make you feel anxious.
- Mom Rage – Being hostile or experiencing extreme emotional highs/lows
- Questioning your life choices and regretting having kids
- Entertaining “escapist” fantasies
- Extreme feelings of “never being good enough” at work or home
- Be concerned that your children are entitled to someone “better than” you
- Disconnection from co-parent/partner
- Social Fatigue is what prevents you from tapping into support networks
- Inability to request support or declare one’s needs
How Do Stay At Home Mom Recover From Burned Out?
Transitioning into parenthood can be one of the most stressful times in a person’s lives. It is often associated with increased depression, or a recurrence of previously well-managed mental issues. You can recover from mom burnout by learning how you deal with feeling overwhelmed and creating support communities to increase your mental energy.
Know Your Risk Factors
Mothers who are raised in cultures that emphasize individualism over collective are more likely to experience burnout. Moms who receive a salary for professional work outside the home are more likely to suffer from burnout than moms with lower incomes. Knowing your risk factors will help you identify and name the issues that are affecting you. This will put you on the right path to making positive changes.
Learn More About Mindful Parenting
Mindful parenting keeps you focused on the present and the tasks at hand, rather than worrying about the future. To de-escalate the need to push ahead at a moment that may not be beneficial for you or your family, focus on the “here-and-now”.
Plan Breaks From Having To Parent
It is perfectly normal to need some time away from your family, partner, work, and responsibilities at home. Even if you only have to sit down in a parking lot and sip a cup of tea or coffee in peace, short periods of separation can allow you to reset. Having a day-off from being a mom with the support of family members or even a nanny reduces stress more than you think.
Join A Group For Burned Out Stay At Home Mom
Join a group, online or in person, that is focused on what interests you, whether it’s a running group, a book club or knitting group. You can develop your identity beyond being a mother, a wife, or a worker. This will help you to feed the part of yourself that is truly you and enhance your identity development.
Find A Mom Buddy
Spend time with another mom who understands your situation and spend quality time together, preferably in person! It can be very helpful to have someone to talk with when you are dealing with mom burnout. Sometimes, all you need to feel understood by someone else is to be reassured that you are not the only one.
Move Your Body
We often neglect our own needs in times of stress. Instead, we should be attending to them as much and as many as we can. Even if you have to drag a stroller, a quick walk or jog can help you get the mental adjustment you need in order to break free from the stress traps.
Get To Bed When It’s Time For Bed
Mom burnout can be caused by the habit of scrolling late at night on social media and other technology to “take back” time during the day. This is called revenge sleeptime procrastination. Engaging in this behavior can lead to under-sleeping and overstimulating, as well as unhealthy comparisons. You should leave your phone at home, or at the very least, put it away an hour before you go to bed.
Rest, And Get Enough Sleep
Because mom burnout is a phenomenon that exhausts you on many levels–physically, emotionally, mentally, and often spiritually–attention to sleep hygiene and rest is imperative. You should ensure that you have consistent sleep hours and wake times. This will show your children the importance of resting and recharge.
Create Different Spaces For Different Activities
Many moms find themselves living, working, exercising, and parenting in one place due to the pandemic. If space is available, you can try to separate where and when you do certain activities. For example, you might not work in your bed, or in the kitchen, where you cook meals. You can create physical spaces that allow you to easily transition from one role to another, taking away the pressure of multitasking.
Forgive Yourself and Stop Apologizing For Being Human
Self-compassion is based on the belief that humans are imperfect together and can share in their imperfections with others. You can be self-compassionate and show compassion for others.
Do Not Compare Yourself With Other Moms
It doesn’t matter if you are with your friends or on social networks, it is important to find what works best for you and your family. While no one can do it perfectly, parenting according to your values will make you feel more in control.
Keep A Journal To Track Your Mood
You can engage in emotional self-care by breaking down your day to reflect on your achievements and areas where you are lacking. You can also set a great example for your children by doing this. Journaling allows you to observe your life and identify patterns that can prevent future burnout.
When Should Burned Out Stay At Home Mom Seek Professional Help
If mom burnout leaves you feeling more depressed, disconnected or without hope for a change. Although every transition can cause stress, professionals should be consulted if you feel depressed or have low moods. You know your own self better than anyone. If you are asking, “Do you need therapy?”, you most likely do.
The way you parent is another important aspect to consider. Help is required immediately if you notice increased violence or neglect towards your children. This could indicate a dangerous level of parental burnout.
How Do Stay At Home Mom Start Over After Burned Out Or Divorce?
There might be a situation where stay at home moms have to go through divorce. So here are some short tips for moms to start over after a divorce.
- Think carefully about your housing.
- Work on your credit.
- Step back into the workforce.
- Protect yourself from the worst.
- Update your estate plan.
- Remember, we’re with you.
