Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You & What To Do About It

Last Updated on September 1, 2023 by Lori Pace

Two people breaking up does not mean that they have made peace and moved on. Are you getting mixed messages from your ex? Perhaps their behavior is just strange. Here are some signs to tell if your ex is just pretending to be over you.

Is Ex Really Pretending To Be Over Someone?

There are many ways people deal with breaking up. If someone wants to save face, then they may pretend that everything is perfect. You may feel bitter, need to be together again, or just want to keep your pride. This applies to both the person breaking up with and the person who broke up. It’s not always easy to end a relationship.

While people may pretend or fool themselves, it is possible for them to have moved on. These signs are likely to indicate that your ex is pretending or not moving on.

Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You

1. You’re Getting Mixed Signals From Him/Her

They might say that they are doing well, or show signs of happiness. But their behavior suggests otherwise. Mixed signals indicate there is no completion. They may also find themselves thinking about their ex even though they say they don’t love the person anymore.

2. They’re Blaming You For The Break-Up and are Angry at You

Most breakups don’t have to be the fault of one person, even though it might seem easy to believe otherwise. They might blame you completely for the breakup and this is an indication that they are not able to accept their role in the broken system.

Anger, similar to blaming others, is a sign they haven’t moved on. This corresponds with the grief stage after a breakup. Acceptance and moving on is part of the journey. If they are still feeling bitterness, resentment or anger, it’s not complete.

3. They Still Try to Keep in Touch

Are they still in contact with you, asking for help or trying to keep in touch? This is a sign that your ex is not trying to get rid of you. They might be over you in terms of romantic relationships, but they still need and desire all that you can offer them.

4. Flirting Occurs | Signs Your Ex Is Pretending

Flirting should be considered a sign of affection. Do they compliment you as much or are they flirting with your body the same way they used? Page believes this is an indication that their feelings are still present and they aren’t over you.

5. They Include You In Reminiscing Your Past Relationship

Bringing up memories from past conversations is a sign they don’t have a crush on you. They are reminiscing and even ruminating and trying to draw you in with good memories.

6. Sabotage | Signs Your Ex Is Pretending

An ex who is truly hurt may try to ruin any of your future relationships. 

7. They haven’t “publicly” acknowledged the breakup.

You get a sense for how social media-savvy someone is when you first meet them. Is it possible for them to suddenly post more and do they seem to be thriving on their own? Page suggests that these posts could be directed at you to give the impression that they are doing well.

What You Should Do About These Signs Your Ex is Pretending

You might wonder what to do if your ex seems to be trying to control you. This will depend on what you are looking for. Page advises that you not look too deeply at the signs of their behavior, as it can lead to confusion.

A conversation is a good idea, regardless of whether you are looking for closure, to be reunited, or to have them stop reaching out to you. Ask yourself what you want and be honest with them. Ask them any questions. This is a very important fact for people to understand. You have the right to ask yourself what you need to resolve a broken relationship.

How To Move On From a Relationship

The best tip to move on from a relationship was to be able to ask for clarity, truth, and to do so in a caring and kind way. Once you have the closure that you desire, you can set any boundaries.

There is always more to do to move forward. You should love yourself after a breakup. This will help you to honor your authentic self and attract someone who is better for you. She says that if we do not do the necessary inner work, we will either be unable to move on or choose another similar relationship.

It’s important that you and your ex are clear about what went wrong in the first place, and how you will change things going forward. Check out our complete guide to determining if you should get back together.